A couple of months ago I was working in my office when I received a call from a young lady who was interested in using our building for her wedding. She told me that she and her boyfriend (with whom she is currently living) attended church here several years ago, but have moved out of the area. I asked her if they had found a new church home where they are currently living, and she said they have not.
I agreed to send her a copy of our church wedding policy, and have not heard back from her. But that got me asking myself some questions about weddings. Why would a couple that hasn't attended church in several years want to have their wedding in a church? Why would a couple who is living in a state of perpetual moral disobedience want to have their wedding in church?
Perhaps using our facilities appeals to them because there is something traditional about church weddings. Perhaps they somehow believe that their families expect them to be married in the church. Perhaps they even believe God will somehow bless their marriage if they have it at a church.
All of these were unsettling to me, as I believed that God blessed us with our facilities in order that we might use them for worship, fellowship, evangelism, and discipleship. I don't believe he ever intended them to be merely brick and mortar facilities that can be rented out for any civil affair. I listen as some of our members warn children not to run in the sanctuary, or to skate in the fellowship hall, because these buildings have a special purpose, they are set apart for God's service. Do we not profane them just as much if we loan or lease them out for to people who are inactive in church?
I don't expect anyone to be perfect when they are married. But I do expect that people who have their weddings in a church and ask a minister of the gospel to solemnize their vows to at least be on some type of discipleship journey. If your relationship with God is a value in your life, then your wedding should be a worship service, and a church building is an appropriate venue. But if you are not seeking such a relationship with God, then to have your wedding in the church is not only an act of hypocrisy, the church itself becomes complicit in that hypocrisy.
With this in mind, I have developed a personal wedding policy. In the past I confess that I have been far too liberal in performing weddings for almost anyone that asked. From this point forward if I will only officiate at weddings of believers who are active in a local church. I will also be working on our church's wedding policy. The current policy was crafted by the properties committee about 20 years ago. While the new policy will concern itself with the stewardship of our property, it will also reflect our mission and purpose.
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Wedding Policy for Rev. Mike Hardin
Wedding Policy for First Baptist Church of Lovejoy, GA
Should Christian Ministers Officiate in the Weddings of Unbelievers?|Russell D. Moore, Baptist Press
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